It has been 2 years since the day I said, “I Don’t.” In theory I said, “I Do” as I stood in the courthouse with no family and no friends to stop me from marrying the man of my nightmares. Of course then I was not aware that he was my nightmare. At the time, I simply thought he was my knight. Apparently, God has a sense of humor. Perhaps He was under the impression that I meant “night” as in darkness not as in a hero who comes on a white horse. The Apocalypse came a little early in my world. Pardon the dark humor however, it has been a year and a half that I have been set free. Free to pursue me holistically in every way that I was designed to. It is not “me” that I am in pursuit of yet everything God has designed me to pursue. I am in pursuit of my purpose. That may seem like an oxymoron so read it again and let it sink in.
For the past year I have lived in NYC, rather I have survived NYC with minimal bumps and bruises. I thank the universe for the graces as anyone who has moved to NY with nothing but a couple of suitcases knows it is not what you bring with you to NY as much as it is who you bring. NY doesn’t care what you own, it cares what you possess. What is inside of you daring to scratch at the pavement of this concrete jungle? That is how you know what you will one day own, simply by what you have inside of you, not who you know, not what you do, not even what school you went to, and degrees that you possess. Do have the abilities to dare NY to know you? I did, and then I came, and I am still conquering. I do have to give acknowledgements to what has been conquered and most recently what has grown to fruition.
When I came to NY I was already battered and bruised from a divorce that left me understanding more of who I am, who I really married, but most of all who my real support group was. Most of the friends that I acquired through my marriage, gone, just like the 50% my ex-husband still doesn’t want to give up. I left feeling like I had moved to California with a mission to start a life and a family and left with one on top of the other neither appearing fulfilled. One, I did manage to start my own business in California. Lamb ER Kay was founded the summer of 2013, a children’s sustainable philanthropic based clothing line with a mission of donating $1 for every garment sold to a charity. I call it, “I Give a Buck.” It was important to me to choose an organization that I believe in, that shared the same missions and ideas of making a difference, an organization that is successful in embodying those principles and carrying them out fully inside and out. So many organizations claim to do this and claim to do that but hardly do anything at all. Too many organizations have people leading that don’t embody the same missions in their own lives. How does one even know that what you support supports what you believe? Why do we support organizations without knowing the true value of their foundations? Why people choose to be involved in organizations that claim missions separate of their own character is beyond me, but I want to be sure the seed Lamb ER Kay sows is sowed into an organization that reaps results. Notice I said “results” not benefits! I am passionate about making a difference. I initially chose an organization in California and over time began to feel that I needed to support an organization that truly supported what I believed in. I don’t care about the politics, the red tape, but the soul, the heart of the organization that I pledge to support needs to be something that in all ways supports what they claim their mission to be.
Allow me to note that the initial organization, Tamu Orphans, that I chose does support their orphans. I am in no way attempting to talk poorly of Tamu Orphans.
I faced so many changes and challenges that stemmed from my divorce that I realized I was not just getting divorced from my husband. I was divorcing so much more: people, places, things, and ideals. I was growing in my personal and professional endeavors and that growth was not always comfortable but it was necessary. Growth is not and can not be hindered from any area of your life and will often be uncomfortable but yield anyway. When change is upon you, it is upon you so be ready for the ride. Get yourself a surf board, a seat belt, insurance, and maybe a therapist because when change is done with you…well I will let you finish that sentence.
NYFW 15 changed me. I walked this past season for One Mama and let me tell you she is One GREAT Mama making a difference in the lives of Women, children, and ultimately her entire community. Siobhan Neiland, the founder of One Mama, has a mission and if you are not effected by her infectious desire to make a difference by being in her presence for One second, wait another, because you will be. Siobhan started One Mama, a non profit organization that provides support to the Women of Uganda by provided health clinics for women and children effected by HIV/AIDS through the sale of their agriculture and crafts including One Mama garments that I strutted in during the iCu Fashion Show NYFW 15. It was a gracious and touching moment for me knowing that I was walking for a cause. As a South African woman the issues of Africa especially amongst orphans is inspiring leading me to choose One Mama for Lamb ER Kay’s “I give a Buck,” mission. After approaching Siobhan last week with my proposal informing her that her Hero mission has inspired me to get on board and make a difference with One Mama. Together the tenacious desire that we have to see our communities flourish will change the lives in more than just One Mama. When you stop to make a difference in the life of one man, you make a difference in the lives of every soul that man touches. Sure my Apocolypse may have come a bit early but I learned how to ride the winds of change on my horse to fight for a better tomorrow, a better today for us all. I am thankful to my divorce for reigniting passions in me that were submerged in the desire to make “I Don’t” an “I Do.” I guess I Do after all, just with a different family, one that supports the same foundation. One Mama, I give a buck to you!
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