Today I was reading my October issue of Vogue praying I can complete it before November when a line in “Line Unleashed” hit me (note: no pun intended). “Our marriage is about the luxury of being alone together,” Amy Cappellazzo mentions casually. My entire body was struck with a chord that vexed my mind, body, and soul. I was almost sickened and awed in admiration at the same time.
I have been married for a year and some small cents now and the most difficult thing for me is feeling alone in marriage. I thought that was part of the entire reason behind getting married. You have someone to SPEND your life with. As much as I disagree with Cappellazzo’s perspective I am in awe wondering, “could I be happy if I achieved that level of aloneness in companionship?” What if I embraced being alone together in my marriage? Sometimes for the sake of happiness we chose to accept things that are foreign to us. The downfall is that accepting what is foreign leads to looking in the mirror at a stranger wondering, “how did I get here?”
There are different strokes for different folks. Some people are reclusive. They don’t want to be bothered. They want their “me” time ALL of the time. In marriage I don’t see how that works. When is there time for “us” in a marriage full of “me” and what is the point anyway?
If I am going to feel alone I’d rather do it alone. Any other way sounds like an oxymoron to me.
Dodie Kazanjian. “Line Unleashed.” Vogue October 2013: 340-342,377. Print.
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