Photo Credit: B.Kennedy-Osiro
I have often found myself in a bit of a pickle. For the past two weeks it had become more than a pickle. Life seemed to really be on the rocks with no resolution in sight. I prayed often and wondered, “What next God?” Not much of a response, but maybe I was not much of a listener. See I have learned that overall I am resilient though when in the moment of emotional distress I often check out for about 4-7 days. Emotionally I just completely shutdown. I am not depressed but I am numb. Really in a state of mind where I don’t desire to do anything but reflect and allow myself to find a solution. I feel depression is a state in which one can not seem to get out of. They have no desire to do ANYTHING. That is not my case. Let’s call it, Survival Mode.
What do you do in survival mode? Is it really survival mode or is it destructive mode? Some I have learned go into what they say is “survival mode” but often the behaviors while in their perceived mode are actually very damaging and destructive. Me included. The past two weeks I did engage in behaviors that were fairly damaging. Not life threatening, but damaging. I don’t really want to go into details but I can say that God knows best.
Despite the destruction and chaos God brought it all together and I did not even see it coming. Thought reconciliation was foreign though I knew it was not foreign for God I just didn’t think it would come so soon. That happiness would replace my sorrow that brewed just the week before.
This is my way of saying if you are ready to give up, if you are feeling discouraged know God Knows Best.
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