Exchange Only


Where I work we have an “Exchange Policy.”  It is not favorable for the consumer.  I mean that they don’t enjoy it.  People want their money back when they purchase something and find that they (for whatever reason) have changed their mind.  That is the way people are, including myself.  When we do not like something we feel we should be refunded.  It is that simple, or so it seems.

At work I have experienced guilt for not refunding an individual their money.  Despite the fact that it states on the bottom of the receipt and it is our STORE POLICY, I end up feeling guilty for refusing to give an individual a refund and ADHERING to the expectations of my job!  How is this possible?  When I look back at the situation I feel that it is preposterous that I feel guilty.  This got me thinking about Exchange Policies.  In life are we living by an Exchange Policy or a Refund Policy?

In our relationships with people are we approaching friendships, spouses, and family with the idea they cannot get back once they have given?  This is going to take some self-analysis and HONESTY, but I feel it is necessary.  I know that I am guilty as charged.  When I extend myself to someone I want him or her to give back and when they don’t I no longer want to give.  Why is that?  Naturally, we do not like rejection.  We also don’t want to be ignorant.  One should not allow another individual to suck them dry.  We need to take care of ourselves.  On the other hand are we not being genuine by approaching relationships consistently even if the other party does not give?

One of the hardest things in life is to love someone who does not love you back.  Love is a gift.  We should give it regardless if it is returned.  I will admit that I find it particularly difficult and like many other woman reading this I have walked that walk loving an individual who could not or would not love me back.  I found my true strength in this love affair that I partake of alone.  I learned that I can love without being loved back.  Despite the pain, the tears, the rejection, and the loneliness I found that I wanted to give.  I wanted to love even if they could not love me back.  I felt it would be more tragic to deprive someone of such a great gift that I often would be that person who would send that text just to say, “I love you,” knowing full well they would never say it back.  It was not naïve, blind, or dumb.  I knew well what was going on and I was not being lied to or strung along.  Often times women fall into this trap and it is very poisonous.  The man or other individual is often using the person knowing that they are in love with them and utilizing that leverage to gain power and control.  This was not my experience and perhaps one could make an argument for the opposite using valid information.  The bigger point at hand is that I gave.  I loved and I did it willingly, I submitted my heart, mind, will and emotions to this gift without expecting and further more without WANTING anything in return.  I did not want a refund nor did I desire to exchange.  I am no extremist; I wanted to be loved desperately.  I wanted to be wanted.  However, if I did not get that I was not going to ask for my love back thus taking it from the person I gave it to.

Let us ponder this for a moment, or a lifetime.  What are we approaching only to give yet expecting something back?  Do we cease to give this just because we are not receiving what we expect?  Does the other party even know our expectations our motives?  Do we know our motives?  Are we feeling disappointed and coming up short because the whole time we were approaching someone or something in a way that extended an Exchange Only Policy?

Note: A gift is a gift; one gives a gift yet the value of the gift decreases when we ask for the gift back.

Thank you,


© [bretagnebko] and [], [2013]. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to [bretagnebko] and [] with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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