R-E-S-P-E-C-T….What exactly does it mean to me?


Respect seems to be something I struggle to give yet demand.  The irony of it all.  I think people deserve respect however, I am a firm believer that one must give respect to get respect.  Though I do know that biblical principles surround the idea that I should respect everyone regardless of how they treat me.  This is easier said than done.

Originally I was taught to respect my elders.  That is what was instilled in me as a child in the foster home I spent the majority of my childhood in.  This principle faded away quickly as I  witnessed the adults around me treat me with disrespect whilst they demanded respect from me.  I soon developed the mentality that many children exposed to unsightly things at a young develop.  You have to give respect to get respect.  This is often times a survivors mentality.

Fast forward to my adult years and I have learned that I not only fail to give respect to those who do not show me respect but I also deem the individual not worthy of respect by the superficial standards that society has placed on us.  To be frank in my marriage, I struggle to respect the very man I made vows to honor and respect.  I once had to ask him, “What is there about you that deserves respect.”  My lack of respect towards him is a result of domestic violence via passive aggressive behavior which leads to not respect him.  However, I am trying.  I am trying not to allow my childhood core beliefs prevent me from becoming the woman God desires me to be.

The aspect is very disheartening the way people think they can treat you disrespectfully and regardless of their actions you are expected to extend to them respect as if they are in a entitled position.  It hurts me, however, I am finding that when faced with a situation specific to feeling disrespected I often naturally respond in a manner in which I rise above my feelings and extend respect (as much as I can muster) to the offender, knowing they are undeserving.  That is love.  To treat someone with kindness regardless of whether or not they deserve it.  Now it does NOT say that we can be naive and allow ourselves to be a pawn in their grand scheme to often gain power or control over us however, we can trust the light always pushes out darkness.  It is more difficult to remain unpleasant to someone who is treating you with honor, love, and respect.  Of course unless you happen to be a sociopath in which it would be easy to hate someone who is loving you considering the lack of ability to feel and empathize.

Back to the origin of respect.  What exactly does it mean to me?  I am learning that it means to be to others what I would like them to be to me regardless of the ever changing variables.  The “Golden Rule” is one I will continue to live by despite how others may treat me.

What exactly does respect mean to you?


© [bretagnebko] and [https://letmeseethelight.wordpress.com], [2013]. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to [bretagnebko] and [https://letmeseethelight.wordpress.com] with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


2 thoughts on “R-E-S-P-E-C-T….What exactly does it mean to me?

  1. Thank you for this writing and for your candor. I appreciate your insight about how to navigate the grey areas and come out in the light. Also I recently learned that one of the more ancient definitions of respect is literally to “see again.” This affirmed my belief that the greatest gift we can give others is to look at them objectively, and see them anew even if (especially if) we’ve had issues.

    1. Thank you for visiting my blog and for your compliments. I did not know that respect also meant to “see again.” That is very enlightening and really provides me with a newfound perspective on how to give respect. I agree with you, that meaning truly heightens respect enveloping it into a more meaningful gift. Thank you for this insight as it allows me to refine the way I respect others and approach from an objective point of view.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s