Valentine Treat


I was excited all week to make these Valentine’s Day Rice Krispie Treat recipe that I found online.  See I inherited a 9-year-old son when I married my husband six months ago.  Today he was having a Valentine’s Day Party at his school.  Since I worked during the hours of the party I signed him up for snacks that I would drop off on my way to work.

Rewind a few hours to last night and we are looking at me getting off of work trying to get home around 10PM so that I can make these treats that I am all worked up to make.  I mean I am really stoked.  I’ve purchased all the ingredients.  I even bought pink and red sprinkles while my friend suggested I buy some pink and red M&M’s to sprinkle on top.  To top this off I went to the local Michaels to find a heart shape cookie cutter.  I have the entire image in my head of how these V-Day treats are going to be so aesthetically appeasing (I love a good food presentation, it’s like decorating)!  So as I am pondering how these treats are going to come out I exit to drop off a day late horrible movie “Paranormal Activity 4” at the closest Red Box that I know of.  As I make a turn I do not clear a barrier that I thought I had and my car runs over this barrier not so gently.  It blows a hole in the front left tire which is just enough to ruin my evening and leave me waiting for a tow truck while time is slipping away and I should be baking these treats.  That is all I can think about as I am looking at the flat tire, “I am supposed to be home making these treats” and “My husband is going to be upset with me.”  A little background information, I had a flat tire last month…he tends to be a bit melodramatic about things like this…shy of understanding that things happen….

Luckily the tow truck comes VERY quickly, (the operator put a priority on it) thank you operator!  It was pretty sad, when the tow truck gets there he appears to be in more of a panic than I  am.  He asks what the emergency was…in hindsight, I now think that I should have said, “I have to go make my sons Valentine’s Day Rice Krispie Treats for tomorrow.”  LOL, it was a blessing though.  I was told the wait was 60 minutes.

Fast forward to the next morning.  Rice Krispie Treats have been in the fridge over night.  They look wonderful!  I am all excited getting dressed for work about dropping them off for my inherited son.  After all I am the step mom.  Not that I am trying to be super step mom or anything, but it dawned on me.  Why am I so excited to drop these treats off for a child that is not mine?  I mean genuinely excited as if my appearance would be anticipated by a child who does not want to be let down by his mom.

It became a bit bizarre for me as I replay myself as being that child.  That foster child whose parent was never involved.  Who rarely had a parent cheering her on as she breezed across the finish line in lane 4 on a dirt track earning a spot in first place.  No one was ever there for me.  School parties, I can not recall my mother baking something or buying a treat for me to take to school.  I vaguely recall putting together a Valentine’s Day shoe box that we decorated in class for students to drop V-Day cards in.  I won’t ignore what my foster mom did do when I was a kid.  Every Valentine’s Day like clock work when we came down for breakfast before school there would be gifts on the table in our designated eating spot like a place mat.  There would be a basket full of candy or goodies of some sort.  I loved jewelry as a child and I usually got a new ring, either 10 or 14K gold.  I looked forward to those days.  So why is it that I vividly remember seeing other parents come to events and notice that mine was not there.  Why was this opportunity to be involved in my son’s life in this way so important to me?

I was let down.  Partially because I felt as though I would let him down.  I went to drop off these treats only to learn by the secretary that they do not allow homemade snacks for the children.  I was sad, disappointed and I walked away with my heart in my shoes.  Luckily my son’s stepdad was in the office when I was dropping off the snacks and I turned around and gave them to him.  I figured, “they have five children in the home, at least they won’t go to waste.” Besides, the child I did not want to disappoint would get to enjoy them when he got home to his moms.

Even then it would not go away.  This feeling that my whole-hearted intended treat was not a treat after all.  It went unexpectedly wrong.  I felt that he may still get disappointed sitting there in class while other parents come and volunteer or drop off snacks and he would not have anyone there to participate and show there support by being there.  I called the school and asked if I could leave him a message so that he knew I had tried.  The secretary had him call me back and I explained that I came to the school but they do not allow homemade snacks.  He was understanding as he always is and I felt a little better letting him know I tried.  That I did not forget about him.

I guess the greatest treat about Valentine’s Day is not the gifts you get.  It is just letting someone, anyone know that you are not forgotten.


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6 thoughts on “Valentine Treat

  1. I came to check out your blog after your comment on mine. Hopefully you were just having a bad day… and perhaps there is “an elephant in the room” that is standing in the way of your completeness or happiness (you were “evasive” aout “something.”) I pray that you can work through it.

    Anyway, you did a sweet thing to want to make a treat for your stepson’s party. I will tell you from experience–most elementary kids see parties as a way to eat a lot of junk and not have to do school work. I don’t honestly know that they think back about whether mom showed up to help at the party. If anything, I’ve grown disgusted with the overkill at school parties–some parents just can’t stop trying to outdo each other and go overboard materialistically (more, more, more, bigger, bigger, bigger). With your foster care background, I am sure you are prone to think about all things you missed, which for some kids are taken for granted.

    One of the best things I think a parent (or any significant adult) can do for a child is to tell him he is loved unconditionally, he is smart, and he matters. It doesn’t mean he won’t make mistakes, be corrected or have consequences–but through it all, they are loved. Children can be mean sometimes too… especially as teens. Still, a parent’s job is to say, “I love you no matter what. I don’t appreciate your actions or mean words, but I will always love you and offer forgiveness.

    If you have anything to do with packing your step-son’s lunch, write him a note every now and then (age appropriate… a 9 year old doesn’t want to get teased). “You are smart!” “I hope you are having a great day!” “I loved your joke…” or even find some corny jokes to write him. That will make him feel special through the next year. At about 4th or 5th grade boys don’t like it anymore, you have to be much more subtle.

    Keep writing. It helps.

  2. Thank you for checking out my blog. That is greatly appreciated.

    You have given me some great ideas. I especially enjoy the note in his lunch. I actually just finished making his lunch for tomorrow and I will put a note in his lunch box tomorrow.

    The funny thing is, I leave notes for my husband all the time. Encouraging him to have a great day. With his son, I am still learning how to connect with him though I feel we have a good connection. It could be better but I do not get granted time to spend with him so I try my best to do what I can.

    Thank you for the encouragement.

    1. Lol. Thank you. How true…the tow truck guy was frazzled when he picked me up. Originally they said it would take an hour and when a long night flashed before my head along with a potential catastrophe of Rice Krispie treats everywhere I responded to the operator as if an hour was 24 hours to me. I did not inform her that I needed to get home to bake my sons treats for school but that was a main part of it. She ended up placing it on priority. The tow truck guy was there in literally 5 minutes. He thought it was an emergency and I did not have the heart to explain that it was. I needed to get home to back my sons treats.

      In the end I felt a slight bit of guilt, perhaps someone out there had a real emergency. However, I did not ask the lady to put it on priority, she offered.

      That is the beauty of kindness. It has the potential to reach the masses….

  3. Your son is blessed you’re in his life! Your efforts will contribute to happy childhood memories he’ll have as an adult.

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